Wednesday, August 23, 2006

To my sisters

I am missing my sisters very much. The further I go on my journey to conversion the harder it is to leave them behind. I grieve for simpler times. Memories shared. Common bonds and the connection of having been born into the same family. Same parents. Same room. Same dog. Old jokes that now make sense to no one, but me. The familiar drive way. The big van. Coming home. Laurel and Hardy. John Wayne. Grandpa.

Then we grew up. It is gone. And gone forever. It is bridge that cannot be recrossed. Nothing and no one can replace them for me. I cannot take them with me on my journey for their path has forked off and gone a different way. Always they will be in my life, but never the same. All we had was when we were little and although we experienced the harshness of life we did not comprehend. We didn't know we were angry, nor with whom.

Perhaps what I grieve is imagined and not real. Distant memories, now altered to ease the pain of what never was. Perhaps I grieve what might have been. I do not know. I only know that I am grieving. I do not wish for a minute to turn back... but still the tears must come. It is all apart of the journey.

To my sisters. I will forever love you, no matter where I go.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Maturity of the Soul

The ultimate elevation of the soul is to find it has purpose. To discover that it is not here simply to be, but to accomplish, to heal, to make better. In that moment of discovery, the soul graduates from being G-d's little child to become His representative.

From the teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe; rendered by Tzvi Freeman.

Latest messages from the universe...

Lesson #1
I have learned I cannot be so arrogant as to presume to know why G-d does anything, good or evil.

I can only know the lessons I learn from the things He allows to happen to me and the people He allows to cross my path. G-d uses circumstances to guide me, not to explain why.

Lesson #2
I cannot be so arrogant as to presume to know the purpose of another human being. G-d created EVERY human being with a purpose.

However, I can only discover and know the purpose of my own life and choose to fulfill it. I cannot judge the place or circumstances I may find another person in because I do not know the journey they are on nor where they have come from.